writing_through_dreams's Xanga

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 08:57:11 GMT

Faded Memories of Love 8-21-08

Twisted on the inside
My outside tells an elaborate lie
Part of me is gone now
I'm too young to die of a broken heart

A shattered mind is what holds me together
That thin layer of ice
Keeping me above the icy water and insanity

Loving memories once trapped
Escaping me already
Without her key to lock them within

The solace found in the simplicity of life
Dying faster and harder with no air to revive it
Tears fall quickly drowning my heartache

I can look to a better tomorrow
But I'll only find gray skies ahead
Forever dead now without my love

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 18:12:27 GMT

Temptress Playing With My Mind 2-23-08

Emotional lacerations scar my brain
Twisted thought binds me tightly
And these ideas wrap me in a noose

The thought alone of what I may do
Hurrels me toward judgement
And hangs my soul
for the immoral pestilence plaguing me now

I hear the stitching
of my own scarlet letter
so loudly ringing in my ears

A haunting vision of karma
And what could become
of my rotted spirit

The crossroads, a perpetual agitation
With infinite time to infest
my wretched self

These immoral images surround me
With no exits on this corrupt highway
Filled with mind games and torture

The stitching's volume increases
The needle sews through my heart
The patch drenched in my blood
Let's the world know of my sin

Inside I die a slow social execution
I rapidly awake from this nightmare in pain
A warm sweat soaks my conscience
As the crossroads indolently collide together
Once again forming one path for me to travel
And avoiding this blistering temptation another day

But if I only knew my happiness were a mirage
I'd take temptation head on straight to Hell.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 02:12:37 GMT

Dying Sun, Bright Love 8-19-07

When the world is blind and cast into darkness
Your beauty shall brighten our days
When the sun refuses to smile anymore
It will be yours that shows me the light

When the moon shines on for weeks at a time
Our love will guide us through each night
When we are lost within our dark world
Our life line will be all that has not died

When the days crumble into nothing
We will still have one another
When the days are gone forever
We will have had all of our thrills

Together we always will be

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 16:14:04 GMT

One 8-09-07

Our souls collide though a thousand miles apart
Our minds form a sole unity refusing to weaken

The temptress of others crossing our paths
But not a glance or thought of them

Trial of love for a woman so wonderous
Daydream visits and holiday slumbers
She dances in mind at night
A restless insomniac of pleasure

Fishing the treading water in my head
Catching fadeless memories

This woman who loves me so
Makes every tomorrow possible

She quenches the heart's appetite
Refusing denial of it's needs
Paving our lives so smoothly
Knitting security silently
Defying all who have doubted

Our simple love seems so complex
But isn't that different at all

Those who have doubts
Do not truly want what they seek

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 06:32:00 GMT

My Battle With My Past 7-14-07

Paranoia warrior of death,
My personal stalker of fate

Around every corner he lurks quietly
Tip toeing down my mind's streets
Hiding behind my thoughts
Awaiting my inevitable emotional collapse

All sounds heard
Mere illusions
All that I can see before me
Simplistic fabrications created for my discomfort

Are you the end of my sanity?
Or a subtle reminder
Showing my loss of grip for reality?

Whoever you are, fearless warrior
I will defeat you
For I have your cards marked in advance
And I will not be oppressed by a cruel tyrant of my past

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 07:01:36 GMT

Angel Of Solace 7-07-07

Won't you be my savior,
Black angel of death?

Name your price,
Heroic prostitute of destiny
And any blade becomes nirvana

I can find solace in a deep sleep
A wakeless nap of eternity
In the final act of your program

Come to me dear angel
Come near and close to my soul
Let me whisper what I dream of
And grant me just one wish free of sanity

Let me throw ration to the side
And let me save myself

And if I live grim angel
Please don't visit anymore

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 06:49:56 GMT

Revelation 7-07-07

Tear my body in two
Feast on my misery and strike me down
I have no will for this anymore
I do not want to tread on any longer

I have received many things
And watched them all ccrumble
I have tried very hard
And have only met with failure

That is I... a failure
Defeated by everything attempted

I realise now what I truly am
And when I think about myself
It no longer scares me

So when you see this boarder suicidal
Do not feel obligated to say hello
When you this mentally unstable man
Please do not spare me your criticism

I see things how they really are
And I know I am not who I could be
Who I perhaps wanted to be
Who I never will be

I am left black
Faded into a memory of prospect

Goodbye, do not say I did not try
I gave it my all

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 06:08:33 GMT

Anniversary Suicide 7-06-07

I want to burn your memory from my mind
I want to rid of yor face implanted in my thoughts

I want to say goodbye to you
Show you what I really can be
Even if you will never know

Tell me you will always be there
Tell me you are behind me every step of the way
And then sneak off during intermission
Thread another lie from your spool of deception

Crack the combination that holds my heart locked
And laugh as you trigger an endless blood flow
Revel in your victory as a dark minded princess of death

No fault within you
I couldn't blame perfection
You wouldn't let me if I tried
It will always be me who ignited the fire

So you strung the proverbial noose around my life
You shot me nine times against a wall
And to top it all,
You injected your lethal mind games into me

Here I am blaming myself for something that never happened
Only in your head did these events take place
And only in mine are you dead
Let us both live in our fantasy worlds
Let you drift out of life
Out of my life... forever

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 02:25:17 GMT

A Heart's Last Words 7-02-07

Each word bleeding on this paper
As if from my own heart

Your beating of my tangible self
Compares not to what you have done
To what you can not see

Here I lie aching
Crimson stains down my breast
Watching your laughing memory
Choking what I can from supposed happy days

My mind tripping over its own thoughts
Searching for a way toward sanity
A way forward
Yet back to where it once was

A time when it once shown bright and healthy
A stable bodied minded being
It seems all too long ago

A mere fading shadow of many yesterdays
Still with some fight
But no will or way to speak of

Down on my paper
I see the lines fading
The ink runs together
And I read the final words of my life

You have murdered my heart
Therefore, you have killed me

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 02:12:57 GMT

Violent Fate 7-02-07

And when you see me
Know that your time here has ended
For I am the final chapter in your book

Your mass parade of deceit
A decoy for what you truly are
A creature of lust, not love
Someone who can care for only themself
Violently terminating other's emotions

Only a victim of your tyranny can decide your fate
One who has dealt with your supreme mind games
Of which you never plead guilty

You draw close to my clenching fists
It isn't my touch you feel
But the revenge I had seeked that is around your neck

Oh, torturous soul
What brought you to such a bloody minded ending
To think it ends here in Hell
And only started with "Hello".